why did i wake up with a kid named Raphael in my bed this morning?
I dont know but you did call last night to tell me you found the last ninja turtle
i don't care what she did to you. we are not having sex in front of your sister.
Foreign porn with subtitles is a little disappointing.
Well, let's be honest here. You're dealing with gay guys... EVERYTHING has an emotional attachment.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Puked in the hotel lobby and just kept walking. I love mardi GRAS.
I wish I had a "puke in your car" emoticon
at one point i was feeding a guy sour cream chips and he made me make the "choo choo" noise as they were going in. \ni feel so much closer to him now.\n
He was drinking a long island through his Breathalyzer tube.
my boobs are worth more now than the blue book value of my car.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Woke up this morning with my period. Saw a commercial for the beginning of Shark Week. I see what you did there, Mother Nature. My pad's off to you.
He drunk dialed me at 2am asking if he could put a baby in me.
I didn't tell that thing I wasn't coming over. Whoops
You know you haven't dated in a while when you call boys "that thing" and call dates "a boy type thing."
Can I just go to one establishment in which I haven't banged anyone ?
I don't really want to explain what i mean by this so just answer yes or no. are 5 cows enough?
I'm at this party and a blind kid just walked in and asked "where is the fucking pong table"
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