Quick, to the slutcave!
I would like to thank collapsed soviet republics and fathers who didnt show enough attention for tonight's festivities
It was so delicious I was introducing it to people. Guy from my psych class was like "This is my girlfriend, Erica," and I was like, "This is my milkshake, Oreo."
Its not really a relationship, its more of a sex for booze program.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I keep hearing lesbian porn and I'm the only one home. I don't think this is healthy
I'm wearing red that night.
Noted, what shade?
Whore.
No, I did not fuck him for football tickets. I fucked him for tickets to the superbowl. I'm not that much of a slut.
He's the second guy this morning whose job is jeopardized because of my vagina.
So I dropped $130 while buying shots for an army ranger, got my fake taken, almost went to jail, and came out of my black out when I was talking to the cops with a stolen detour sign in my hands.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Was that you I seen riding on the top of a cab? Way to start the new year
Do I lose at life if I cry in a grocery store while buying a pregnancy test?
Soggy bong water carpet is the worst kind of carpet.
I hooked up with Spider-Man on the hood of Santas car. I kept saying that he could shoot his web at me. Also I found Waldo. Overall good night.
I'm convinced he's the patron saint of oral sex
I didn't want to fight, I just wanted to tell you to fuckoff.
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