My aunt just said- "pizza is like sex. Even if it ain't good it ain't bad." Obviously she doesn't know us too well.
he took off my shirt and said 'oh my god the legends are true'
Just walked past a girl wearing nothing but flip flops and an oversized sweatshirt crying by the front gates eating pizza. i just found your soulmate.
i signed up to donate 10 dollars a month to help the children that are being displaced in columbia because of the drug wars.. i felt obligated
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Hold on there are flying pancakes I can't handle this right now
if that blanket by the dog bowl was your dog's "bed" then i apologize to bailey for having sex on it
WHYAREWHITEGUYSSOBADINBED?! What the fuck went wrong, evolution?
Tough to be a good wingman when you puke on yourself and everyone w/in a 5 ft radius at the FIRST bar we go to so don't tell me to step my game up
The sound of my own breathing is making my head throb. That hungover.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I've been vomiting all day.
All day? It's 10am.
the kid next to me in math class is drawing gay porn. it's good, but that is beside the point
Text me if something catches fire and I will put pants on
"We hooked up and in the morning he emailed me his mix tape"
that awkward moment when you use blowjob jokes as a segue into coming out as bi
She wanted to get out of there before you guys woke up so she wouldn't let me find my underwear. Lol So I apologize to whoever finds that in your room.
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