I thought she would fill the void you created. Turns out she thought I just wanted to fill hers.
omg... punch me in the throat... I am about to lose my mind with my parents.. I'm not saying I agree with the menendez brothers.. but I understand
Whoa!!! Accidentally took a dump in chick's bathroom at Red Robin. 1 hr for coast to be clear. Women's farts sound like geese taking last breath. Liars.
First guy to fuck a girl in the new tool shed. Her underwear is on the shovel hook.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
It took you an unbelievable amount of time to realize that your ass was on fire.
can't believe I ate straight coffee grounds to stay awake for that
Even Lady Gaga hates Purdue
He tried eating fireworks, to stop him being hungover in the morning. Where do you keep finding these people?!
I've never been so embarrassed. It's like waking up as Fred Durst.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Ok spinning in the opposite direction thatg the room was spinning was the worst advice ever
Best feedback on my performance so far: "There are things that can't be unseen."
My purpose is to unleash drunk self on strangers, i believe as some terrifying icebreaker, otherwise i too would offer my driving services.
She climbed up the stairs with three brownies in one fist, two in the other, and one in her mouth. Also, she opened the bedroom door with her foot. I may be in love.
No matter how long you've been away, there's nothing quite like pooping at your parents' house
He nicknamed his dick "the fountain of youth" I think it's time to move on...
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