this girl looks like the female version of brooke hogan
I think, one-on-one, Paul Rudd could be very threatening in like a REALLY good way.
Nights of college: 1. Virgins: 1. Yes.
Do you ever look back at facebook pics and say, "are those really guys I had sex with?"
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That's the second time in a week someone has called me to talk drunk you into getting up off the floor. This needs to stop.
I just made a drink so ill shit. It's goona be great. Ill tell you about it when you get here. Get pumped. For my shit.
All I remember is folk music and a lot of drugs. I am never going "on an adventure" with you again
I'm going to assume that "the army of generous folk dancers" is no longer a goal you are willing to fulfill
Guy fieri is speaking only to me. We make eye contact. My whole body is vibrating. My head is purring. I am literally marbles.
So why are your hands bright blue and have you seen my roommate.
Both questions will answer each other.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We were making out and truffle butter was playing in the background. I stopped mid make out session and said, "I'm really sorry but I have to rap Nicki's part."
When you can't finish your jumbo margarita and figure pouring it into a to go box will suffice... Midnight snack?
It's 5am and I come home to you naked on the kitchen table and 3 people I never saw before fucking on the back porch ... and my weed gummy worms are gone. fuck you I'm taking your mom's offer
Don't forget to bring $1s for the strippers. Make it rain!!!!
Thanks, mom, will do
You're like the Miss Manners of anonymous gay sex.
Should I be worried if two ants just crawled out of my purse?
Yes!
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