I would like to feed your fingertips to the wolverines.
whats the proper etiquette for returning a closet door to a random girl you met and do not know her name?
there is just no excuse for touching your mothers vagina.
i would think by now you'd realize that my penis does whatever the fuck it wants and i have no control over the situation
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Me and a lesbian played "may the best man win" over a bi chick tonight... I lost, still fun though
i woke up in his bed to a "teach your baby to read" infomercial. i pray to GOD that's not a sign
At what point did you actually think that you could throw knives safely?
Indeed. The kind of morning where puking in someone's shoes is not frowned upon
we've had our differences but let's set them aside, go home and fuck
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
At one point I thought we were going to have to fuck our way out of their apartment
unless you have a dick and you were thinking of chopping that off
All I've consumed in the last 24 hours is cranberry vodka and kosher for passover biscotti
That's what happens when you party with the tribe
Apparently last night I yelled "the cops were called on a mother fucker and that mother fucker is me." And then proceeded to exorcise a sandwitch.
I'm more than my video games and dildo collection
That awkward moment when you hear your boss yelling during sex while you're on her couch eating Easy Mac.
Randomize