jess passed out on the pong table. it was depressing until we started singing shania twain an hour later and heard her muffled voice singing along.
the last thing i remember was trying to convince him to call over his girlfriend so we could have a threesome
When I got to his place, he served wine and cheese and made me sit on the balcony while he read his poetry to me. He cockblocked himself.
Is snow just God skeeting all over the place??
Yes. Yes it is.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He kept buying me shots of tequila. I decided to just save myself the half hour of toilet hugging and tell him straight up that I intended on sleeping with him. We got Tacos on the way home with all the money we saved.
Adderal just makes me love life. I want to do so much. I just can't stop thinking about all the wonderful opportunities we have and how lucky we are and I want to make a difference in the world. I just have to reign in my brain and convince it that changing the world starts with a college degree, which depends on studying for these finals.
At some point you realize they're vacuuming and you still have to sober up. Please find me a boyfriend thanks .
I am at Brians in a pirate costume, what the hell am I thinking
I told her shower beers are even better when you have someone in there with you and she said she's been looking for a new drinking buddy. It's a goooooo
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
In case you were wondering, yes I did just watch the Katy Perry movie alone on a Saturday night. I'm so alone it makes a noise.
I'm glad he doesn't have a bigger dick because he'd just use it for evil anyway
Nothing like introducing yourself to your high school boyfriend's wife as "the girl who took his virginity"
He woke up wondering who broke in and rearranged all the furniture. He reviewed 11 hours of security footage before I told him he did it while whiskey-drunk.
I plan on getting so intoxicated, that I think it's MY own birthday
Can I play this game?
And tell your penis that we can hang out tonight for sure.
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