i just saw a midget buying condoms and graham crackers. i wonder which was the impluse buy.
This guy has a retainer. We're golden.
the semester is winding down: time to procrastinate by googling cheap keg options
When we woke up, I asked if we could play "what does your name rhyme with".....he said 'bave' thank god it was easy
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
strippers are much less mysterious after you sleep with them
Something smells like weed and I think it might be my mascara. Come sniff my eyes
I'm sure it was awkward. I've never had a professor expose parts of them to me before.
He knew exactly who I'd slept with after just one look at my crotch. He's like the Sherlock Holmes of cocks.
My hair is crimped, I am walking with a roadie, and my vibrator is in my purse. I feel sorry for tomorrow.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My ultimate goal is to get laid wearing a horse mask... That would be awesome on all possible levels
like are we talking 'quick beer' bad or 'break out the real vodka' bad
I woke up in your kitchen with my ID in my hand and my nails were painted electric blue. Dude.... never let me have fireball again.
Lord give me the strength to not check my tinder messages at my grandmother's wake.
This weekend was amazing, 4 confirmed pukings, 2 cops, 3 hookers, one photographed t-bagging of the groom, and a night in an illegal gambling house.
I just caught my bangs on fire trying to lite a bowl while driving. Thank god it wasn't my eyebrows like last time.
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