glad my latex allergy prevents me from being a one-night stand whore
Going to spend my cab money on more shots and just take the ambulance home
Sometimes when I see pregnant women, I wonder what position they were in when they got knocked up. Then I gag a little.
No. You are not the Kate in this relationship. I will do what I want.
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I hate when people I sell to add me on Facebook. I'm your dealer, not your friend, C'mon people.
he kept asking me "do you love it? tell me you love it" as I was riding him.
and...?
I told him it was alright.
She says I'm cute and I remind her of her brother. She's too hot to back out now. I don't know. I'm guna go for it.
I was really stoned haha. I had sex with her while I cooked scrambled eggs.
You told me you aren't worried about the police that you've been training for this an that the last three months of your life have been devoted to building up your stun gun tolerance and pepper spray recovery time.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I took the weekend off because he and I were supposed to go to Vegas for our anniversary and get a hooker remember?
Ah, yes. Who says romance is dead?
Either sorry for fondling you Saturday or thank you for letting me fondle you Saturday.
He said bring my breathalyzer and Anna's pepper spray, I didn't ask questions
Kick open the door, strike a pose, steal a boyfriend, end scene.
His mom let me come to his house for a Booty call at 4am. She even cooked us breakfast in the morning and told me im a better moaner than his girlfriend of 4yrs.
He is a beautiful butterfly covered in tattoos and naked.
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