Yo I charged a $20 breakfast to ur room, will pay u back in liquor and schoolgirl panties, thx again for a fun time
I admire a woman who can maintain dignity while puking after too much whiskey
I really want to fuck my wifes sister.
Do you ever go through someone elses pictures and just appreciate the fact that youre not really friends with them?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He googled "how long will i be drunk" and just started crying
The frequency that you give me blue balls couldn't be healthy.
There's a skull full of vodka. How bad can it be?
this may be my drink champagne alone in a bbaby pool in the dark night
I need to cry about outer space to someone. Can I call you?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Shes sitting on the front porch puking in to the pumpkin she just carved...in the rain. I guess pumpkin spice tequila shots wasnt our best idea.
I guess I made wings because there's chicken everywhere. Even on the walls. 3 of them. It's like a chicken grave yard.
It's gay pride weekend and Father's day.. So in honor of the occassions I am now BI
There are 27 signatures on my ass. What the hell happened last night?
Every time someone made a cup you congratulated them by letting them sign your ass.
I mean I love some drunk compliments, but he just wasn't up to my low standards.
My dad sent me a 10 ft beer bong and my mom sent me ideas for future careers. I'll let you guess who my favorite parent is. Also, come over tonight. and bring beers.
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