Life lesson: Don't ever put your penis in a crazy girl. Especially if she's married. And has a kid.
I just gave my patient permission to swallow while pregnant. She was so embarrassed to ask...but her bf was really happy with the answer.
it was really awkward, he kept trying to get on the bed with us and we kept having to kick him back on the floor.
So I went outside my house this morning and basically my entire front lawn is covered in gummi bears... I think that involves you guys.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Replacing day drinking with a real job was the worst decision I've ever made.
do you actually have a paper bowl full of broken glass and ecstasy or was that just a dream?
Nothing gets you judged faster than having cum in your hair at the gas station.
This day sucks. I just wanna play ostrich and bury my head in your boobs.
It was like inception, a dream, in a dream, in the back of a dodge charger.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Oh my god I would go to planned parenthood the same day I get my nipples pierced
Well. At least he's a gentleman. A gentleman satanist.
He fucked me in one of the back rooms at the club then gave me an altoid. I have mixed feelings about it still.
I guess you know it was a good night when you find your ripped underwear in your pocket, and a nerf bullet falls out of your pant leg 😂😂
She looks like a character that batman would try to kill, or something.
I’M PUT OFF FROM FOOD RN BC EARLIER I GOT SOME WATER AND I WAS 4 SIPS IN WHEN I NOticed A FUCKING BURGER KING F R Y IN MY D R I N K
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