TXT her NOW! The phone is actually IN her Va-Jay-Jay!!
he calls his bong barack obonga, commander in kief. i found where i belong.
Drug-sniffing dog walked past me and my suitcase in the train station. My opinion: they need a new dog
She just had to change the song on the radio cause I was tap dancing on her windshield
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I can't come tonight. Someone took a shit in the dressing room. A.) Clean it up or B.) Kill myself. Text back with your answer.
Last night I had sex with one of the groomsmen I was in the wedding with. In a stairwell. 13 years my senior. Thinking I should retire from the bridesmaid gig.
I would reevaluate a bf who is happy with other guys doing me.
His birthday is on Valentines Day, of course he's getting a blowjob
Ok I'm drunk as fuck already at 529 and this waitress started flirting with me, I wanna bang her for acknowledging my existence
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Not a problem, sailor. I speak both autocorrect and typo.
I FUCKED THE WRONG FRIEND HELP ME
I just left and he walked me out and went call me if you're ever... Eh... Whatever. And walked away.
What was I even doing in 2010?! I feel like that's a question I should be able to type into the Facebook Search bar
I woke up with pitch black feet and crushed doritos around my mouth. That's how I determined how my night went
The lady at the liquor store in my hometown just gave ran around the corner and gave me a hug when I came back from being gone for a couple months. My life is complete.
Randomize