Nothing says "I love you" like a full raw dog.
All the walks of shame were condensed into the hour before parents started showing up. Move out day is so bittersweet
I woke up pulling sunflower seeds out of my vagina. That kind of night.
well once we started drinking vodka out of wine glasses there was no turning back
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just checked my recent transactions online. Between the hours of 1 and 3am on September 30th, I went to 7/11 4 times. Unacceptable.
Tinkerbell just flew up to me and tickled my balls. What the fuck did we smoke?
Disregard the shoes in the freezer.
There something liberating about walking through the dorm hallways without pants on.
So, left this guys house wearing a #1 Grandpa shirt and I think this is the best sex score I've ever had.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
And thanks! There are perks to polyamory. And birthday orgies are one of them
I'm so festive that I used my jack o lantern bucket as a just in case barf bin
I haven't lost it. I know I'm not a prophet. It was a joke.
After the edible you claimed you were talking to my cat. We're in our 30s now, what was once cute is now a liability.
im on a boat
How did you get this number?
I know right, I would blow him just for the satisfaction he would taste like vodka
This past week everybody of fb either got rings or semen. All I got was Covid.
Randomize