i must have dtf stamped on my forehead
Just bored and untired. I want to be in Austin. At college. Drinking someone elses alcohol. Am I asking too much of life?
How do you say "I always respond to booty calls" when you give a guy your number?
If for any reason you were wondering if i was going to vomit at the airport today, the answer is yes.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
just saw a couple drunkenly stumble over to the family planning aisle of Walgreens. inspiring.
It is official. It's the year of doin married chicks. Similar to the year of virgins but without all the baggage.
this just proves how much faith i have in "us".. what should we be for halloween..?
Um. That's my cat Laura. You put my cat in your mouth, and then you put my cat in your purse.
Well I'm currently debating between getting toilet paper or getting my eyebrows waxed so... There's that
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I've never had goosebumps on my dick before. It was definitely not a bad feeling.
I've decided he is effectively a mouth, hands and cock held together by bad ideas and compliments, and I'm OK with that.
I'm so hungover that I just wrote up my will because I'm afraid I'm gonna die. I'm leaving you my bong.
You told me you were with a dog dressed as a taco, and it was the only one you trusted
There should be a guide book that probation officers hand out on "how to tell a tinder girl about your ankle monitor before she notices it at the worst possible moment"
If there's someone that knows accidental pantlessness, it's Mike.
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