I realized today that the only reason you made out with Travis is because he has nice teeth
are you excited because you wanna see me or because you wanna get laid?
bc i get to see you. naked.
At what point are you a chubby chaser or just desperate for sex?
Also while I am being the bigger person I plan on bringing over something strong smelling and/or alcoholic to torture the poor hungover bastard
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I think I saw maybe 3 ugly girls the entire time we were there
Yea its like that frat house was built to keep fat chicks out of parties
He took a girl home tonight that he was trying to sell a fridge to. She wanted a fridge and got his dick. He's got a talent.
Just high enough for therapy.
plus there's no nice way to tell a guy you physically hate the shape of their cock.
Hold on - sidebar. My best friend just threw a 40 pack of condoms through my window.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
As long as he continues to be our subleaser and continues to fuck me, I think it's acceptable for me to steal a piece of bread here and there.
Dude I puked in a snow bank and then fell face first into it
I'm not the type to go to a guys house...in your case his boat...and sleep with them..I mean I have in the past but I'm trying to be more serious and grown up
Whenever a guy asks me why I like weird sex stuff, I just answer, "Catholic School".
No no no, I want to share him with you. Think of it as me sharing a piece of delicious pie with you. He was THAT GOOD.
Accidentally texted co-worker instead of bf “I’m wfh tomrw. Nooner? 💦”
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