It wouldn't matter if you are Jesus Christ himself, you are not getting into the bar tonight
i dont nkow, theres a guy slesping next to me and im wearing 8 tsthirts? wtf happened last night? will you come get me.
i think im in thre room next to you
I just saw a homeless man dressed as a pirate. I love san francisco.
i was so high it looked like the chipmunks movements were coordinated to that lady gaga song
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Did you just see the Batmobile???
New pre-game routine....wal-mart bathrooms...quality beers for free...hallelujah
i cleaned out my closet and found 7 beers from 2007. ive had 3 so far.
sometimes i think what itd be like to be a firework
Worst night here by far. And ive slipped in my own piss so thats saying something
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
When you start quoting save the last dance you need to stop drinking
I may or may not be taking a bath listening to the Phantom of the Opera. This lovely moment brought to you by xanax.
We're having play-off hate sex for a sport I don't even understand. Go USA!
if i had known the extra weight would have gone to my tits, i would have started drinking years ago
Do normal couples celebrate occasions naked with Chicken McNuggets and BBQ sauce?
Let me call you later. I’m lining up some office dick now that working at home is ending
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