Woke up with feathers in my hair. at work. still drunk. sooo awkward.
smell my finger.
nothing can go wrong this weekend. $1500 to spend. i have options for hookups every night. my backup plans have backup plans
Why's my alcoholism being used to prove a point?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
It's like, I'm the official vagina for that DJ group
Some one left their pants in the elevator.
I mean I'm not worried about us not getting wasted. I'm more worried that I'll be doing a Boris yeltzen impression by 1030.
Don't try to dry clothes in the microwave. They'll catch on fire.
I've got to stop making out with the guys and sharing drinks with you. I'm the reason we all get sick at the same time. Sorry.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Well we're gonna drink when we get home and I just invited the cab driver to play beer pong
Playing basket ball at the park with random people that showed up at 1am. the division of teams is based on what drugs people are on
This will be the 3rd time you have blacked out and lost your phone only to have some kind stranger find it, charge it, call me, then mail it back to you. Your luck amazes me...
Toppless hop-scotch needs to become a competitive sport
He wins the giant teddy bear for getting the neuva ring on the dick
There is nothing worse then the feeling after you've held in farts all night..
What's his name?
Randomize