I had a dream last night where you were a transsexual in a low cut blue dress with lovely long brown hair. You were very pretty. I hope you are well.
i would rim the shit out of meg ryan
In attempts to Not be THAT GIRL in front of my new crush I will only drink a 12 pack instead of my normal case.
Just saw Youth in Revolt. There are only so many times Michael Cera can lose his virginity.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We agreed to not shave eyebrows when someone is passed out. douchebag.
The cop and I then joined forces to get you up off the sidewalk.
I have 20 seconds to get my life together and look presentable.
We were showing our tits to everyone because it's breast cancer awareness month and we care deeply
I thought we were doing it cause it's Tuesday
I'm thinking he has to buy me dinner at least twice before i even start considering casting him for "Fuck buddy - understudy."
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You know what's fun. When your getting a new mattress and you forget you put your vibrator under your old mattress and the moving guy finds it
I haven't received a dick pic from him lately. He's not even my boyfriend and I'm concerned. I hope he's alright.
sigh, if only his dick was as big as his mouth
I just fucked her in the corner of an ally while holding a large pizza waiting on a pledge for a ride.
My ex boyfriend literally just asked "who needs porn?". This is EXACTLY why I dumped his ass.
Sorry for not calling you back. I got drunk and passed out on the kitchen floor. I just found my phone in the shower.
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