im learning from these one night stands last time i came in her this time i came on her AND deleted every contact in her phone!
I was thinking about baking his mom "sorry you found out i was sleeping with your son" cupcakes
just masturbated through my pocket at the library. hope you're enjoying your saturday night out.
On my way home from Vegas. Just realized my pants are inside out
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Dude, I swear her tits are going to give me a concusion.
I swiped a lunchable and a gatorade from my one night stand's fridge, does it count as a date now since a meal was included?
She is the epitome of a puke & rally. She picked a random hott guy at the bar & made him pinky promise not to leave while she took a power nap. She went & passed out in her friends car & apparently puked just outside the bar. She stumbled in & found the randome guy again & claimed she was golden. Made it to the after party & stayed up til 6 doing body shots off every girl she saw & hooked up with the random from the bar. I love her life
You are a piece of meat with a side of awesome to me.
You know it's been a successful day when the only reason you put on a bra was to take off your shirt
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
especially when i'm drunk. his dick might as well be made of cotton candy.
I just set my messenger to Away so I could run downstairs to masturbate. Working from home is the BEST
I had to give myself a suppository. That was the LEAST fun I've had inserting things in my ass.
dude idk where I am. fuckin like. there wheat field and a horizon and shit. I think I got on a bus? some dude named Sam gave me a pamphlet about Jesus.
I legitimately just had to leave work because I am too hungover. The front office ladies keep making fun of me.
EMERGENCY SUBJECT CHANGE. SHE DOESN'T KNOW.
Randomize