Texts From Last Night

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  (631): View more from New York

  Come here. I'm drunk. Family Function. Intense Pro-life vs. Pro-choice debate. Bring Republicans.

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  (631): Come here. I'm drunk. Family Function. Intense Pro-life vs. Pro-choice debate. Bring Republicans. http://tfl.nu/f9ad
  Replies (74) Good night (3950) Bad night (1743) Order T-Shirt
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  (321): View more from Florida Space Coast

  Well, I fucked her. But the sex wasn't all that great. Morning sex never is

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  (321): Well, I fucked her. But the sex wasn't all that great. Morning sex never is http://tfl.nu/m53n
  Replies (87) Good night (517) Bad night (4564) Order T-Shirt
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  (330): View more from Ohio

  did i really try to jack off an athens police horse last night? please tell me youre kidding..

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  (330): did i really try to jack off an athens police horse last night? please tell me youre kidding.. http://tfl.nu/ng2x
  Replies (35) Good night (1118) Bad night (5728) Order T-Shirt
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  (317): View more from Indiana

  I need to stop hooking up with boys in my major. three boys in one class is just a litttle too awkward.

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  (317): I need to stop hooking up with boys in my major. three boys in one class is just a litttle too awkward. http://tfl.nu/qgop
  Replies (24) Good night (1866) Bad night (3354) Order T-Shirt
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  (403): View more from Alberta, CA

  Already puke and ralleyd and dressed like a bear.

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  (403): Already puke and ralleyd and dressed like a bear. http://tfl.nu/rnay
  Replies (1) Good night (2160) Bad night (638) Order T-Shirt
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  (701): View more from North Dakota

  I didn't realize I was holding it, until I was like, "whose baby is this?"

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  (701): I didn't realize I was holding it, until I was like, "whose baby is this?" http://tfl.nu/cr38
  Replies (12) Good night (3854) Bad night (1362) Order T-Shirt
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  (703): View more from Virginia

  Dude, if she brings up the lube, you know nothing

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  (703): Dude, if she brings up the lube, you know nothing http://tfl.nu/df9u
  Replies (6) Good night (1997) Bad night (784) Order T-Shirt
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  (201): View more from New Jersey

  just used my nephews bottle to take my birth control

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  (201): just used my nephews bottle to take my birth control http://tfl.nu/3b72
  Replies (7) Good night (878) Bad night (1737) Order T-Shirt
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  (703): View more from Virginia

  Find out what day classes start and I will come down to Richmond that weekend. Any broad who claims to be 18-21 will be promptly ID'd. My job has trained me to spot a fake from a mile away, and I don't need a statutory rape charge.

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  (703): Find out what day classes start and I will come down to Richmond that weekend. Any broad who claims to be 18-21 will be promptly ID'd. My job has trained me to spot a fake from a mile away, and I don't need a statutory rape charge. http://tfl.nu/w6ag
  Replies (5) Good night (1929) Bad night (579)
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  (914): View more from New York

  So somebody asked her is she's okay.She turned around,started running and screamed "Ballet is running through my veins" before doing a small pirouette.It's amazing how she managed not to fall.

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  (914): So somebody asked her is she's okay.She turned around,started running and screamed "Ballet is running through my veins" before doing a small pirouette.It's amazing how she managed not to fall. http://tfl.nu/w95m
  Replies (4) Good night (1206) Bad night (344)
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  (801): View more from Utah

  My cab driver has a hooker in the front seat. Really, this is serious. And weird.

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  (801): My cab driver has a hooker in the front seat. Really, this is serious. And weird. http://tfl.nu/uvgo
  Replies (7) Good night (1116) Bad night (440) Order T-Shirt
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  (703): View more from Virginia

  I just stood on my roof naked pouring vodka onto my garden. sweet dreams

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  (703): I just stood on my roof naked pouring vodka onto my garden. sweet dreams http://tfl.nu/mq8g
  Replies (8) Good night (770) Bad night (424) Order T-Shirt
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  (815): View more from Illinois

  Apparently "dick me" was not the response he was looking for.

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  (815): Apparently "dick me" was not the response he was looking for. http://tfl.nu/bju4
  Replies (2) Good night (628) Bad night (178) Order T-Shirt
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  (252): View more from North Carolina

  Walked in the bathroom at work and my boss was taking a shit with the stall wide open and responded "oh yeah, I forgot you never have been to prison "

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  (252): Walked in the bathroom at work and my boss was taking a shit with the stall wide open and responded "oh yeah, I forgot you never have been to prison " http://tfl.nu/v70i
  Replies (5) Good night (308) Bad night (759)
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  (302): View more from Delaware

  On NPR this morning, farmers are feeding weed to pigs. The result: pot bacon. Life just got better.

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  (302): On NPR this morning, farmers are feeding weed to pigs. The result: pot bacon. Life just got better. http://tfl.nu/rs0b
  Replies (8) Good night (642) Bad night (65) Order T-Shirt

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