it's just like freshman year of high school, with more drugs
Dude i have a 6th sense for when bagel bites are ready.
NASCAR RACE 2010 NO REGRETZZZ!!!
It is literally 8 in the morning.
Now I'm heckling that my belch is more exciting than their fireworks and I peed down the driveway.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Passing out is my livers way of protecting my mind.
I won't apologize to a one balled man
My stalker sent me an erotic poem. Who knew anyone could find a way to rhyme birth and girth so eloquently?
So right before she was about to give me head she tapped the tip and said "Is this thing on" I think I'm in love.
Yeah I mean once a gun is being waved around, its probably a good time to leave the party
But the music was sooo good
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I can't go to class, I have all this weed to sell
I've finally given up enough on finals week to wear the same shirt three days in a row, because I didn't take my hoodie off for the first two.
It kind if looked like a strap-on dressed up for Halloween.
Sorry your girlfriend got you a valentines present and you forgot to get her one.
How long will your dick be dry?
Btw, the reason I have a black eye is bc I needed to puke so hard yesterday morning; I whipped up the toilet seat so fast that I railed myself in the face. Then spent the rest of the day more carefully puking. Kind of why I'm not in the mood for drinking.
Well the cops were called after the kid fell, but we saw 4 cute guys from our window while it was going down, so it wasn't all that bad.
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