I'm half bulimic - I binge but forget to purge
Went to the doctors. She saw my " I love beer" tattoo. All she said was " My drunken tat is of just one word. "Cornnuts.". Then said Mexico was "awesome." And sent me on my way. Yeah. She's my favorite doctor.
Is sexting at a funeral morally wrong?
Get out here. Doing shots with the delivery guy. Also, the food is here
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Leaving someone plastered on a corner at 3am telling them to just scream for cock is NOT being a good wingman.
Yeah dude. They were so drunk they actually drank the pool water. Which I'm pretty sure will kill them. My parents chlorine the shit out of that thing cuz they know how much sex my brothers have in it
Daquari drive throughs 24 hours a day. LORD HAVE MERCY
You kept asking the bartender if you could "buy a dollar".
You fucked two dudes in the same night and still went home to your cats. How does that happen?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I've been here 11 months and i just realized i have literally never looked at my apartment/roomates sober
So I'm getting really old. I feel asleep for a booty call that I initiated. The struggle is real.
To this day, I regret not having sex in the bathroom
I'm shrooming way too hard to deal with your bullshit at this particular point in time
I'm covered in jizz and the toll booth lady knew it
I may just have to resign myself to life in flats. He's a sexy little chipmunk that worships me.
Randomize