We should write a comic book about the many adventures of your vagina. Maybe even give it a cape or something.
He was so confused why there was a string hanging out of my vagina.
Too late, the blunt's already in my cleavage
i'm already feeling the tequila hangover i'm going to have on friday
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
some drunk bitch driving a golf cart ran over the live band... its bad.
I needed to do something spontaneous, and since no one had coke this was the next best thing.
lesson #1 of freshman year: grinding with a sombrero is difficult
Whatever. I am not explaining the physics of my dick slapping.
Haha never eat brownies from a guy with batman pajamas
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I learned a valuable lesson about combining day drinking with malt liquor: you may think you have super powers, but that's just the Steel Reserve talking.
Happy Father's Day to the first man I called Daddy while cumming.
The next time you invite me out to a bar full of cougars warn me first. I never felt like a piece of meat before.
and i walked downstairs to find my brother using nunchucks, and making the appropriate noises. i simply asked "why"; his reply? "why the fuck do you think?". i love my family.
I guess I'm famous. Hot lesbian was WARNED about me. Still hooked up with her.
I'll pay you to teach me.
Having a bangable neighbor is going to ruin my booty call game. I refuse to go across town for dick now
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