I have to look really hot tonight because my personality is going to suck.
how do chicks with those acryllic nails wipe their anuses?
You missed a lot. I drank contact solution thinking it was water, vodka thinking it was water and some unidentified substance that reminded me of pine sol thinking it was water..
oh awks just saw the head of medical staff who I punched the bottle of wine at
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Depending upon how the Sox game progresses, I'll either cry on the bar or fuck someone tonight...
That's just a really flattering way of saying, "Yes, you're useless, but you have great tits."
And I just realized we will be at a strip club when the end of the world is supposed to happen. This is destiny
You pulled out a fucking recorder and started playing along with all the songs on your playlist and refused to hit the j
Tell me about it. Running across highways take alot outta ya. When he found out, he was all "concerned" about it.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I hooked up with a guy that had a beard last night felt like I was building a fucken log cabin
He told me he loved me and then peed his own bed. So at least it was a memorable one night stand.
how do you make "fuck me in the break room" sound casual?
Holy shit, we're married as fuck.
BUT I'M ALSO ONLY IN IT FOR SEX AND HE CAN'T EVEN GET THAT PART RIGHT.LIKE LITERALLY ALL HE HAS TO DO IS DICK ME DOWN AND BE A DECENT HUMAN BEING IS THAT SO HARD TO ASK?!
I still judge her for aggressively trying to get coke from my date but pretty cool that she's a black belt
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