Just got my rental car in Iowa...gas is under 2 dollars in des moines...this is not a real state
he just fed my chickens on farmville...i guess that's his way of saying thanks for the sex<3
Cognac is not meant to be taken in shots. I just wanted you to know the desperation of last night.
Driving around Panama at 7 am looking for an open liquor store..
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Aaaand my life has been reduced to whether I can reach to flush my puke down the toilet using my foot. The answer is yes.
Her throat is strong enough to gargle peanut butter. I'm sure you were satisfied.
If is anything like my past relationships, I have no doubt that I will single-handedly reignite the Cold War
On the 3rd day, she mixed sangria and orange juice and saw that it was good.
There was a pumpkin carving contest and we carved a very realistic dick about to penetrate a vagina. Our Christian Youth hosts were not happy.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Well i think matt shit his pants so ill mark that as a W
I can't feel my clothes. I'm convinced I'm naked
Dude, did you fall in a toilet on the way over here?
Was face down in one actually. Bars 2, Drew 0.
It was like something out of a fucked up fairy tale. He just crowdsurfed over to her while riding a keg, said "come sail with me", and then the crowd carried them off into the night. What.
Right now, there's some ten year old kid getting ready to go outside and play basketball. He will soon find out his basketball hoop was no match for my car.
Swish.
Well I'm about 60% wine, 30% pure rage and 10% tears at the moment and I'm disappointed in how little alcohol is in me
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