i dont nkow, theres a guy slesping next to me and im wearing 8 tsthirts? wtf happened last night? will you come get me.
i think im in thre room next to you
well, tey weren't taking lap dances as payment today
That guy youre talking to looks like Brian from Family Guy.
Woke up to a bouquet of flowers in my toilet bowl. Drunk hubby loves me.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
walmarts paint section shouldnt be open at 3am
Mom just Facebook checked into an Applebees at 2am. Caption: ''WITH THE BESTIEZ.''
It is too early in this hangover to be seeing some guys ass crack.
You just threw your burrito at the passing teenage couple and yelled "It's never gonna last" of course your were a shit show
He thinks he's a sex addict. Just. My. Type.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
she visited to give me a bj between clients. Social work at its finest.
I used to put Bugles on my penis and pretend it was a wizard.
Did you or did you not grab my boob while I was making out with the foreign kid?
Well it might’ve been because you asked to play What Makes You Beautiful at the club
You kept saying, "please sir, can I have some more."
I just woke up, dressed as Chris Brown, with a bunless hot dog (presumably from 7/11) in my pocket, wearing a pair of shoes I don't recognize as my own. Help.
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