I'm already going to be stripping so like pretty much you would just be watching me. Also we're watching twilight. again.
you refused to come out of the bathroom until i asked you in spanish
Is there anything medically wrong with drinking beer from a vagina?
How did the beer even get there in the first place?
That's not what's important right now
It was her 21st and she had one drink and fell asleep. I hate 90lb girls.
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Now that world cup is done, funneling out of a vuvuzela has lost its fun
Hes stumbling drunkenly around the streets of New York with a balloon vagina on his head. I'd say hes having a good night.
Did you ask me to bring you a t-shirt to class or did I just dream that?
No, I did. It's a long story.
Whatever. I'll just fuck him now and deal with the clingyness later.
Russell brand is gross. Everytime I see him I just wanna give him a bath. He's like a used condom.
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I think you'll be amused to know that I achieved the impossible feat of tripping over my own dick
WHY DID YOU NOT OFFER TO LET HIM STAY
Dude, it's like you want him inside me more than i do
If I end up in the hospital remind me to order jimmy johns.
Why?
They deliver.
just played fuck the dealer and thunderstruck with my physics ta. he is the third ta that i have drank with this semester, i think i'm getting good at college
Took the ex out to the bar, then left with her and her best friend....and you said this was a bad thing.
You went on the date? His pickup line was I swear I'm not a serial killer and you went on the date???
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