Wooohooo! I'm sitting in the car like a creep watching people walk in and out of Blush. Lots of happy people.
she's sitting on the other side of the room at this party. with her smirnoff tucked in that little opening between her cleavage and shirt. drinking from a straw. snapping her fingers off beat.
it's love
I was wrong being drunk doesn't make accounting more interesting
that knocking you heard last night......that was her head slowly going through the wall
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literally every day that goes by where he doesn't talk to me makes me more determined to get him to have sex with me
Excuse me by sucking dick i am fighting crime. Just think of all the prostitues going out of business and getting real jobs.
did mom hear me barking???
oooooh yeah. good luck explaining that one
sooo high. sooo many dog friends
gay flight attendant. racoons. kegels. bartender with missing teeth. too many birthdays. fucckk.
Let us do this. Tomorrow night is thirsty Thursday. Let us drink whiskey from the bottle and have men in plastic gloves inscribe permanent images of each others faces onto our buttocks.
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apparently i tried to facetime the drunk bus last night, that's probably why we had to walk back to campus
Drunk ass.
Just realized I used a picture of my little sister to holler at a guy, only 3 months old and she's already my wingman.
I think "we've never met sober" is a great relationship to have with someone
let’s face it, me joining a co-ed soccer league is like, 33% motivated by my crotch seeking a healthy outlet
I get dinner and bf perks from the one guy. But dick with no commitment from the other. I’m living my best life.
That guy u hooked me up with kept calling me james while were doing it...
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