Did you know nanny-cams work just as well for recording that blow job on the sofa?
I hooked up with a Michael Jackson impersonator last night. Too soon?
Just got my period. This just makes my beach escapade totally even that much more ok.
okay, please tell me Cammy is the one who put the picture and note on my desk saying "beat off to this homeboy"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I may wear a condom to jerk-off tomorrow knowing that my hand has touched surfaces in this bar.
I know it's early but when you wake up can you please validate my life and tell me I'm not just a drunk idiot.
Hey my results were negative. Your chlamydia train stops here. Happy hunting!
I thought he was being really sweet and protective when he pulled me away from the guy i was hooking up with, but turns out he just wanted me to get chicken nuggets with him...
It's like the blind leading the senile over here.
UPDATE: shit just got real- grandma is threatening to beat grandpa with a wooden spoon covered in chili.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Cocaine can totally be concealed as MAC finishing powder. Drug dealer creds just went up 120 percent
She tried to sing jingle balls while blowing me
Everytime I try to keep track of the amount of people I slept with I always forget about that guy I met on the dc metro, where I woke up to him organizing his Special K and Molly and I was covered in sleeping cats.
He's not very smart so he didn't know I was yelling at him with monologues from Scandal.
I hope a pyrotechnic goes off in your asshole and seals it shut for life.
Me too.
I will take a ruler to your dick so help me god
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