Don't worry I'll hold the wheel while you cum
Women are like Alzheimers patiens. You can compliment them a million times in a day, but the next day is always a wash, you have to start all over.
you gave the police officer your chanel wallet and said 'just keep it the i.d. is fake too'.
You tried to get the stranger on the sea bus to give you a bite of his chicken sub by repeating over and over "im in a girl band"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You refused to get in the cab so we rock paper scissored to decide who walked you home and the fat guy was it. So don't blame your poor hook-up choice on me; it was all you.
Well pretty sure I lost 3 of my best friends in one week. Remember when I said I wasn't sure if I was gonna be a better person or a more despicable one in 2012. Despicable wins.
Handicvap rails on the toilet atre soooooo fuckin handy right nmow.
I'm doing the Macarena naked in my living room right now
I see you're taking unemployment seriously.
Totally uneven. One tiny pussy lip that almost didn't exist and one giant lip that unfurled liked 5 different times half way down her leg and could have been used to hoist the mainsail on a pirate ship.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Then my perve supervisor asked about your vagina. And I was like nunya, but its glorious
It's a 'fuck poison control' kind of night.
Sorry I didn't answer your call last night, I was peeing on the driveway.
My dad just asked if I could bring snacks to jail this weekend. Like what does he think this is, some type of adult play date?
to drive Frat boys away, one just needs to cat-call at them. It makes their masculinity weaker, and yours stronger.
Came home to butt plugs and dildos in the bathroom sink WTF
Spring cleaning
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