I may have been to starbucks and 2 classes with balls still written on my face...
we fucked to don't stop believing. most epic sex EVER.
i lose more brain cells when ever she opens her mouth then i would doing meth for 8 years of my life.
I totally need to blow more fat guys. His cum tasted like vanilla ice cream
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
It was just a reflex. BOOM I kicked her in the face
Im blowing my nose and the only thing coming out is beer
Dude, she gave me a handski that literally felt like she was starting a lawn mower...
Okay I know I said I was going to quit drinking for a while but apparently pumpkin pie flavored vodka is a thing and I will not rest until I have some.
It is becoming increasingly more likely that my entire halloween costume will be entirely composed of borrowed clothing from the two girls I'm hooking up
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Seriously your house is like the underground railroad for unwanted gay kids
Just set myself on fire a little bit. Made me think of you.
TFW YOU ACCIDENTALLY SEND A MEME ABOUT LIKING ANAL TO THE GROUP CHAT. JESUS FUCKING CHRIST, WHAT IS WRONG WITH ME?
Let me just get through this whole court subpoena thing and then ill go back to buying alcohol for minors.
i may have just googled 'is philly rioting right now'
he asked me for a magic BJ...is that supposed to be different from a normal BJ?
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