On a scale from 0 to 24...wait, 3 to 24, where 6 is the lowest and 12 is the highest, how freaking high re you right now?
i deep throated a ruler to see what my limit was...
Thats two for two birthdays where I've gotten the "alcoholism runs in the family" speech
Her parties are sponsored by Valtrex. This might not be your best idea.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Remind me tomorrow to take that ball-gag out of my purse.
Just don't let me fall on anything that can be broken. Unless its a dick
tell me there's a reason my bed smells like paint thinner
i was really hopeful that i could make it to the end of the semester without doing something stupid enough to destroy our relationship but i guess i was wrong..........thanks vodka
i found you in bed eating fish fillets dipped in chocolate pudding
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Dude you were sitting in front of me eating uncooked bow tie pasta...
I found where he bartends and I guarantee you that in approximately nine months from this Friday, you will have a niece
I'm like, not good at living.
This is like 50 shades on steroids but with healthy relationship models and mutual respect among all parties involved and lesbian activity.
She's so high she just screamed into the pile of takeout boxes "which one of you gave me diarrhea"
Btw that $18 I gave you to run around outside naked came out of your wallet.
Randomize