Just checked, might have creepy crawlies. What does chlamydia feel like? Not near wireless to consult webMD.
Then you got really excited when I upgraded you from puke bowl to puke bucket.
So you know how craigslist used to have an "erotica" section? And how after you click on a link it changes a darker color? And how Dad stays up really late most nights?
Oh god... well at least he's gettin some. Mom's a prude.
Medical school killed my enjoyment of porn. Hard to keep a boner when you're diagnosing all the actor's STDs and skin disorders.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He's drunk and putting on a tie for the jimmy john's delivery guy
he actually said the words "do you want to pet the lizard?" with a straight face as he unzipped his pants
I think I pulled my groin stumbling back from the bar. That or the hippo I woke up next to.
The melted ice in my drinks tonight is probably the most water I've had in like 3 days accumulated.
Maybe we could get a groupon for vasectomy. I'm game.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
When you turn your data bak on you're gonna get a pic of a nipple but it's not mine
It would seem she's painting a bullseye right in between her legs
then he grabbed my tit and yelled "FOR NARNIA!!" then dove into my vag. i think I will do him again strictly for the entertainment value
I just offered a cat a "drinky drinky" I'd say my night has started
And how about the fact that the first time i really truly looked at a guy's dick was in my car. MY CAR. GODDAMNIT!!!
Try sleeping with him.
Why is it that all my gay friends have that solution...
Cuz you will have an answer or have sex.
Randomize