I just saw a girl walk by me wearing a "kiss me I'm pro choice" shirt. Is that a signal for easy access?
see if i had a dick i'd definitely smack people in the face with it
Also, I just saw a woman change into her stripper outfit in the bathroom at Target.
Were you really trying to feed me potato chips while I was sitting on the toilet?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Now accepting hypotheses about how i managed to get a bruise between my boobs....
Yeah we can't find him. He left a note saying he left and isn't that drunk with what appears to be an attempt at the quadratic formula for proof. He also wrote down his number and left his phone by the note
I am currently explaining what double penetration is to the bridesmaid I hooked up with at my cousin's wedding. This is my life.
It's like a teen mom casting at the Obgyn's office. I feel great about my positive life decisions.
He made me cum 4 times, we high fived afterwards and then I proceeded to tell him about this guy I'm dating whilst I made him a bacon sandwich. I think we've finally mastered being friends with benefits.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
There's a certain feeling that only comes from wearing pearls to hide hickeys
I could tell my life story through kermit memes
I JUST HAD TO SNORT THE REST OF MY BAG OF COKE BECAUSE THE BAG RIPPED IN THE WORK BATHROOM.
I'm guessing you feel amazing due to all the caps?
LETS GET THIS SHIT DONE. IM GONNA GET THIS SHIT DONE, FOREVER.
i just watched a 27 minute video about owls...that high.
A bitchslap is in order.
Don't come in. My door to my bathroom won't close because of the table and I'm pooping
Classy
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