So i decided to deal with the awkwardness of last night by making out with all three of them
He had a number 3 tattooed on his penis. And when I asked what it meant, he said " you know like dale earnhardt, the intimidator".
I saw a chick at 8 am this morning walking back to my dorm wearing wings... I'm kind of jealous.
Miserable. My projectile vomit just woke me up from a 5.5 hour nap.
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I've decided I'm either going to ease him into this breakup by having a threesome with him and the girl I'm leaving him for, or be brutal and fuck his room mate. it depends how nice he is tonight.
I'm just going to text him the word sex repeatedly until he comes over.
Did it work?
Duh, it only took 27 texts and 15 minutes and he was at my front door.
I paid your brother in tostitos to drive me home.
Poorly worded request for dick pic resulted in stoned beanie selfies and "lol". Miscommunication is the devil's cock block.
Well, when you bump into your parents at a swingers meetup, it's time to change cities
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he puked all over my guest bed and the said he felt good enough to clean it up. he poured bleach all over the bed and passed out in it. he had the chemiacal burn for a month...
sex in a hospital.. check
I just blew thrown up hashbrowns out my nose. That's the level of this hangover.
He said we were going to get fucked up in the woods so here we are
You had a good week dude, you bought a motorcycle and a beer bong with ur parents money, missed 2 classes, and ran from security twice, good first 2 days to college
I was taking a nap and she comes in wo/ pants, gets up on the bed and mounts my face while watching Weeds on Netflix. I'm okay with it, but at least let me wake up first.
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