btw ... thanks for not giving me up as the craigslist killer
i owe you one
thanks for snagging those panties for me
is there anything more depressing than unpacking condoms from your suitcase that you thought you were going to use on vacation?
he was writing an apology letter to his liver in shakespearean english... That much fun...
it was like he was trying to blow his nose in my vagina
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
And the cops told us we were all naked.
How do you get a 7 on a pregnancy test?
What do you think it is?
It's a boy. I know it. She always manages to have a cock inside her somehow.
Okay Im going to go have some sex apparently. I hope this chick is prepared the zero effort Im going to put into it.
Come back. She's looking through naked pics of his exes on his phone and questioning him about them and I'm too drunk to walk away.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
This may be hard to believe, but that wasn't the first time I was fingered under a snuggie
It's not
I don't care how stoned you are, I'm not driving to a different state for a burrito
Within 24 hours, I went to a feminist documentary screening with two state reps and you hate fucked a rent-a-cop on the helipad of your hospital. Somewhere our lives went in different directions.
I still make more money.
If it makes you feel any better... I have a friend who found out her mom was in the video for 2 Live Crew's "Pop That Pussy"
Hell no. Last time I used a Slip N Slide I ended up with bruised ribs, a broken fence and the hatred of a half naked girl with a sprained wrist.
I swear to god, no guy has been as interested in sticking stuff up my butt as this girl
Randomize