So I just found panties on our kitchen floor that had a slit in the vagina section. Does that mean shes open for sex, or she has a penis?
I just woke up surrounded in unopened snacks
remember that night we drank a bottle of vodka and went to mcdonalds and ordered everything on the dollar menu, twice?
we can't do that now- first b/c they got rid of that menu and 2 b/c we are broke now. damn this recession.
Not good, Ive never been this late. We need to talk.
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Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Im so hungover
Come over i have rolls
Ecstasy rolls or Challah rolls?
you busted in the room, ripped the covers off of us, ... and fist pumped
you two started sword fighting with 3 ft tall spruce trees you pulled out of planters
I just walked past a woman in the bar stroking a mans crotch, yelling 'I made this. I made this happen.'
Standing in my kitchen eating choc chip cookie batter from the bowl. As sad as it is, I kinda like the places bad breakups take me.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We spilled a whole bottle of mouth wash and then proceeded to roll around and make out in it. At least I smell minty fresh.
I can dry shave vagina like a champ
If I end up in a healthy relationship because of this, I will NEVER forgive you!!!
I got into the shower with my underwear on. I just sat down in the tub and tried to figure out when I lost all control of this hangover.
You sent 2 glasses of water to the table next us and told to the waitress they were on you. I repeat: water
I wasn't supposed to sleep w him. So of course I sent him gps location to my bed.
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