that's the type of pussy you go to the bathroom and wack off before you fuck her, just to last longer inside of her!
I just ran into the couch, vagina first.
I hope you got dinner out of it
she said she'd get any tattoo I wanted ... so she's getting a large crossword puzzle as a tramp stamp. I'm the Einstein of doggy style
I wasted my skinny years on you. The least you can do is high five me at the bar
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I'm surrounded by 3 year olds in tutus. They are far too innocent to be within at least 500 ft of me.
Was this before, or after you took my brand new bag of shredded cheese, and "Made it rain"?
I'm still seeing blue. who wrote on my bare nipple?
I just spent the last 30 mins playing uplifting songs to my uterus, & there's no way I'm pregnant.
She was like the Rudy of blow jobs... SO much effort into it
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I really thought you were going to tell me you were pregnant on facebook chat. FACEBOOK CHAT. I almost cried.
Are we playing "how much awkwardness can we fit in the final 29 hours of 2011"?
yes yes we are. Go do something with super glue. i don't want to win.
i made the walk of shame wearing her booty shorts that said juicy on the back. i'm still counting it as a good night
We told you to act sober so to prepare yourself you started doing squats and stretching then you slapped yourself and walked in
I had nothing but condoms at the checkout, then grabbed a pack of Orbitz gum and said "gotta protect from bad breath" felt like a boss
Interlocking vagina powers go!!'
Oh god, your drunk again aren't you?
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