didnt we say no more talking to eachother
it will help you get over me i promise
im horny
ok i will unlock the door
Considering the fact that you wouldn't give me my cat last night because he was "destined for broadway", yeah, I'm accusing you of stealing him
She went home with him because he works at Jimmy John's and his car "smelled like meat"
I wonder what acid is like for a blind person... Can we find this out?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i think dick pics are a sign of a sexual renaissance
All I've had today is a brownie and a shot of Jack, so you know. I'm doing ok.
Is it malicious or apart of the healing process if I wipe my ass with his toothbrush?
The feeling I get when I hear beer bottles clinking must be what children feel when they hear sleigh bells on Christmas Eve
I wish my bank account would intervene on my life choices.. $200+ in alcohol in 2 weeks and a $40 McDonald's bill is a cry for help.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm texting an actual stripper. A male stripper. I dont wanna talk about it yet
I got his number because he was "impressed with how much I could handle"...I was chasing shots with Olive Garden breadsticks...
Screaming "dámelo" at the bottle of scotch was definitely my best and worst moment of Cinco de Mayo 2015.
I thought you couldn't go near Germans after that restraining order
I feel like I shouldn't be left around 30 year olds when I'm drunk
you know you're sexually deprived when you're holding a warm taquito in your hand and your vagina starts to tingle
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