Alarm just got pulled in my exam
Swear it wasn't me
This bar receipt from last night makes no sense
You were wasted and got mad that it was too high so you subtracted 50 bucks in the tip line from the total
I wish that would've worked
My history with restaurant waiters is severely limiting our dinner options.
I just wasted my iTunes Gift Card on a season pass for Hannah Montana. Bad decision?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
we can fight about whose fault it is later....naked.
Malt liquor mondays...better in theory.
so far I've only met her once and hung out one other time. Up to 5 BJs already. That's serious efficiency.
just found out I was hugging strangers at the bar last night. there's photographic evidence. I know none of them
I heard moaning and ass slapping and sponge bob.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We almost got stabbed in the nuts last night. Don't worry, we're alright.
My sex toys have been held in customs for almost a month now. They're British, what the hell?!?
dude idk where I am. fuckin like. there wheat field and a horizon and shit. I think I got on a bus? some dude named Sam gave me a pamphlet about Jesus.
he had a cock ring. i orgasmed before he even put it in
He saw my Halloween/ Costume closet and assumed I’m into cosplay. I’m going with it. What’s sexier, a cop or a nurse?
Good thing he's hot and my vagina likes him or I'd be at Dennys right now.
Randomize