i'm watching degrassi (go figure) and the episode is about jimmy not being able to get a boner and now he's famous and rapping about popping pussies..i dont get it.
So i just bought beer on a credit card, using a fake ID, while wearing my nametag from work. All 3 have different names on them. God i love my boobs.
You told the bartender you needed 2 beers, and a shot of his cum...
I just had a heart to heart with a stripper I'm becoming a dentist.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Apperanlty I was screaming "It's hard to swim with a broken ankle sir" and then tackled the lifeguard. The joys of blackouts
To the genius that put everclear in my humidifier: your time is coming.
she's like the billy mays of hookups...touch my boobs and i'll throw in this blow job ABSOLUTELY FREE
Is it frowned upon to puke at Keeneland while you're betting on horses or is it just whatev
hahahaha what do we need the kangaroos for? please tell me we release them instead of doves
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Can you bring home an IV stand and an empty bag so I can direct inject coffee for work tomorrow morning?
I think weed is turning my hair brown
I just put on underwear fresh outta the dryer and it's like tiny Angels are giving them warm supportive hugs all over
you made out with another girl for some wings
should i be that dick who brings a carpet in an uberpool
Why are you moving a carpet?
it's unimportant
Someone made a mask out of a crown royal bag. Can't decide if tacky or awesome.
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