It smells like weed.
We are in Boulder, Everything smells like weed.
Someone just asked me to go to the dining hall for dinner and he will use one of his swipes to pay for my meal. i think this is a college version of a date
you never know, standards drop, they turn gay, shit happens.
btw, i had a dream i drank 260-proof vodka last night. thank god that doesn't exist in real life.
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yeah my mom told me she knows when i come home high because i use my turn signal while turning into the driveway...
I seem to remember you being very disappointed that drinking Michelob Ultra didn't give you magic powers.
you took my bottle from me saying i was unprepared for its magical qualities. then you buckled it in the backseat.
congratulations to me i think I am on the road to legitimate alcoholism
cool. same. I'm in class drinking
NOT OKAY
sorry for partying
THATS NOT PARTYING THATS DRINKING IN CLASS
I vaguely remember taking a yard light, holding it up like the statue of liberty, and all of us at the party chanting the national anthem. What a glorious night
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I brought him flowers on my way home from cheating on him. Boyfriend of the year award right here.
buying a tattoo gun on ebay just sounded like a good idea at the time idk man
Package arrived for me from the gf while she's on vacation..under the bed bondage kit and new lingerie...my boner could drive to the airport
If the ex isent in town and im crying under a table somewhere because of it can we go to a drag show or something
He whispered "Are you feeling it now Mr. Krabs?" when he was inside me. That is NOT my fetish.
Woke up at my x's house. He said I talked about how much I love panda's for fourty five minutes. Then made him watch The Little Mermaid with me. Made the walk of shame infront of his mom. Things can only really go up from here.
Wait till you get home.
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