i'm almost one hundred percent positive that i have a warrant out for my arrest in this city. i also don't give a fuck because im drinking TEQUILAAAA
Then he took his girlfriend's fuzzy handcuffs and locked me to their bed. Key is in an unknown location. He's surprisingly idiotic, for being premed.
I'm more impressed with the spaghetti smoothie at the present moment.
This dude. Just lost. A finger. He asked us for tape.
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At some point we were all eating banana flavored rolling papers.
I paid your cover too so you're on the list as tits mcgee. You're welcome :D
Nothing like an alcohol-fueled, 6-hour-long hunt for weed--complete with occasional breaks for sex.
How did I roll 7 times this month and survive?\nI must be some sort of ecstasy goddess
YOU WOULD BE SEEING ME. IN MY KITCHEN. BENDING OVER MY OVEN. MAKING YOU CAKE.
Wait, that's an option?
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nope. just stoned. wishing i had a golf cart.
I wanna just rip ass and see his reaction but i bet itd be better to shatter that illusion when hes drunk
I'm horny too so maybe we will both recap our regrets on Sunday
we're so committed to being not committed
Nothin much, just sipping warm franzia from a plastic valentines wine glass while wrapped in my Mexican blanket listening to sappy country songs and mourning my lack of a love life. Hbu?
did you know that sneaking into a golf course at midnight is a felony? the cop made sure to tell us after she peed on the course and hit on him
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