You love popeyes more than me
does delicious chicken come out of your vagina?
part of it is the fact that im problem drinking, and the other part is my OCD wont let me leave the bottle half-empty.
found POGS while I was cleaning my room this morning. Definitely bringing them back to school to turn into a drinking game.
I bruise way too easily for the kind of rough sex I want...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
dream priorities were more important than voting today. don't tell me you wouldn't keep going back to sleep to find out who would win a fight between oprah and godzilla
he went to have surgery in the morning and apparently they found lip gloss on his dick
No one figured out why I brought along the vibrating massager.
you never texted me what you wanted from the store so I got a piece of chicken and bottle of tequila. if you want anything else you are on your own.
We were in the middle of a serious discussion about social justice and he pulled sequins out of his teeth and kept talking like nothing had happened.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Sorry you had to clean the sheets with your macro notes
So what if I got a tattoo on a bus, it was sterile.
I went to Christian school in the 90s. I can finger blast anything, but dignity.
Yes, you can glue plastic eyes to my dick and take pictures while I'm asleep. If you tell anyone I said you could do that Ima fight you.
This might be the worst thing you've ever done.
Really? I feel like I've done worse. Guess I gotta step my game up.
When we sit on the couch watching TV, she always cups her hand around my balls. Not sure if it's a sign of affection or a "power play" to remind me just how vulnerable I am if she chooses to make an aggressive squeeze.
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