I'm drinking ghetto ass mojitos!
Wow. How can mojitos be ghetto?
Squirt + bacardi limon + limes = ghetto mojitos
I mean he's a cool ass guy, but he's genuinely in love with a fat chick. I just can't take him seriously as a person.
should my penis look like a turkey
She just stuck her hand down the strippers pants. Shit just got real.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He made me hold his dick and say "I solemnly swear that I'm up to no good"
I'm beginning to think the only reason I get laid anymore is girls are fantasizing sleeping with my dad...
I think I need to donate blood to see if I have Hepatitis. Again.
Dude, you need to man up. You passed out before a PRESEASON game. It's a long season.
I think I need a restraining order. I had 15 "selfies" of him on my camera roll......my phone has a lock code on it.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We had sex on a dog bed..
I thought I would be a proper lady and put my spare panties in a ziplock
I got the job! The hiring manager is the sister of a guy I slept with so its like I'm a real adult now
Do him. As soon as possible and as often as possible. That's what Oprah would say
MY COWORKER IS ATTRACTIVE AND I DROPPED A SONIC THE HEDGEHOG JOKE IN CONVERSATION I FUCKED UP
Just for future reference. Do not do zumba while stoned out of your mind.
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