We drank from noon till 5 am, there was adderall and nice jews involved it was just crazy
Things I find upon waking: a gay man, a straight girl both clad in web bathing suits, a full bathtub, an empyt bottle of jamesons at the bottom and a scuba mask
so he let me use one of the toothbrushes that came in his daughters 4 pack, purple glittery toddler toothbrush, the next time i came back his wife has used their label maker and put my name on it...
Whenever I don't wipe thoroughly after shitting, I just think that anyone if anyone sticks their finger up my ass, they had it coming.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
is it customary for a bride to wear white even if she's a whore? i feel tie-dye would have been more accurate
You are two creepy Justin Bieber quotes away from me not talking to you for the rest of the day
If I had a pelvic thrust emoticon, I would use it
We talked about all of the sex positions that would better allow him to feed me grapes. I think I'm in love.
No... No really he actually thought the condom was meant for his hand...
You left a trail of sequins from your dress incase we got lost
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Because of his penis, I can't even look at a hot dog
That chick went from zero to shitshow in only 6 shots.
First week is awesome. Freshman girls prancing around everywhere like newborn baby deer looking for a dick to jump on
Whats a little naked between friends. Just don't laugh or I'll be scared for life.
IT WAS JUST SO LITTLE AND AWKWARDLY FLOPPING BACK AND FORTH
This sucks! All of the twenty something dick I was getting went home when the university closed
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