i'm watching degrassi (go figure) and the episode is about jimmy not being able to get a boner and now he's famous and rapping about popping pussies..i dont get it.
i never thought i'd have to say "please stop having sex on me"
wow.
yeah, it was that bad.
He was taking the caps off the vodka bottles and throwing them out the window so we'd have to finish them. Engineers have the best logic.
My mom gave me a book called "why good people do bad things"
I didn't realize you were one of the "good people"
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The horrors my penis has endured I wouldn't wish upon any man.
I'm like five sips away from making a Craigslist post for true love and mustaches. My family is going to disown me tonight.
I think a girl on my floor is watching zombie porn. There is literally no other description for the noise coming from her room.
Whenever I see women with terribly drawn on brows, I just wanna tackle them and redo them and run away. I'll be Brow-lady. The beauty superhero
$1 drinks and Playboy theme. I am never leaving this place
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as much as I don't like snorting drugs, I would totally be fine with someone doing a line off my ass. that's just a whole new up
Ultimate cock block. About to have sex and your mom calls you so you can go help your grandmother figure out how to vote for the voice on her iPad
You went to pound town last night and chow town this morning. Boy you need a passport.
Don't put me in that position. I am not qualified to be the responsible adult here.
He left cushions on my floor, chocolate on my bra and unexplained scratches on my thighs. I think this one might get a second date.
Matt is trying to convince me that we have a deal where if I show him my tits he won't do cocaine. Apparently we shook hands on it?
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