When you're on the hood of a car, 10 mph feels pretty fucking fast.
look. either you want to have late night naked sleep overs or you don't. do not involve dinner and extraneous conversations in this relationship.
She just got in car wreck. Wreck sex is better than break up sex
I definitely managed to work the word "aforementioned" into the conversation.. At least I'm an intelligent sexter.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Easy for you to say! His first impression of you isn't the drunk girl in a turtle costume who got hit by a car!
It was tug of war between me and the cop. He wanted the beer, I wanted the coozie.
I am literally missing a chunk of eyelashes. That's how fun it was.
Ha, I bet. You tipped the waitress like 10 bucks for a glass of water.
Honey, I don't care how "classic you" this is. It's not gonna matter if we can't find you in the morning.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My horseshoe mustache feels at home at this bar.
I knew he was a classy dude because when I told him my name was Jen he said "Gin? Like Gin & Juice?"
I don't think Buddha would recommend a sexscpade across Mexico
He looked so uninterested when the stripper was slapping him. Now his roommates are harassing me about how crazy our sex must be.
Should I put the spider I likely swallowed in my sleep into my calorie tracker?
Just letting you know that while you peed your pants in that guys jeep, The orgasm I had made my hair fall out... Good morning.
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