Riding a fattie is like riding a scooter, its ok just not in public.
Turns out "bordello" doesn't mean what I thought it did.
Sitting in class thinking wow im glad im not hungover...and then i realized im still drunk.
Let's go free Charlie Sheen and party with him
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You screamed at all of us and then showed us your sack. You're like the boyfriend of my dreams.
Come my child we shall walk thru the pasture of amazing sex and corndogs. Hint:some corndogs are not corndogs.
Theres a point where you stop and say hey....as high as I am on LSD right now ...I`m just a man covered in paint
Side note: Hot guys are now getting with ugly chicks. Alert the media.
My wife climbed on top of me, fucked my brains out, and gave me money from the ATM. I'm living the dream.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just shotgunned a beer and my lipstic didnt BUDGE. MERICUHH
I was thrusting to the beat of Felix Navidad..
I will go to bed dreaming of sexy Olympians carting me on a throne to the beach where they feed me pizza and champaign and massage my head/wash it like the hair dresser does.
We probably are going to die. So. Thanks for agreeing to be my Maid of Honor even though I torture you.
WHEN THE HELL DOES ANYTHING IN OUR LIVES *EVER* GO AS PLANNED???
The bride is so wasted, she fell into her cake.I wanna be on her level
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