Booty call?
Dude you don't even follow my twitter
I just smoked a bowl in the dining room and am now drinking a glass of chocolate milk. i can't believe i'm getting paid for this.
There's two big trays of water in our freezer. I just hope they freeze by Saturday. for the ice luge.
its Wednesday...
they're reeeeeally big trays
I'm just sayin' man be careful, that chick has castration written all over her.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She wanted to roleplay. Apparently you be snow and i'll be a plow wasn't an option
dreams really do come true on the roof and drinking again
Dude this deaf chick is totally hot, I just bought an apartment on boner ave
Ya, so he said he had to change before he would go to Pizza Hut because he pissed himself. He ran into his house and came back wearing a cowboy hat.........and his piss covered jeans.
Well I'm sorry but he seemed so happy being drunk at noon.
He fingered me in a Waffle House bathroom and then stole a traffic cone. Is this love that I'm feeling?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I had to ask him for a dick pic. Do you know how refreshing that was?
You know I've done a lot of messed up stuff. But I never thought I would have to put a bandaid on my dick. Yet here we are.
I wrote a pretty good eulogy, too. Motherfucker pastor had no sense of comedic timing.
I am not walking across campus just to give you a blow job in the hopes that in return i can study more efficiently.
My school has hired a professional rum bottle juggler for our dining hall this evening.
Why did I wake up naked with a leg cramp and and extra $550 in my wallet?
Randomize